Worth It
by Nadja Lee
Summary: A discussion, a decision…….is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?


Worth It 

By Nadja Lee 09/07/02

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After movie

Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

Romance: Surprise!

Summary: A discussion, a decision…….is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@hotmail.com

Rating: PG in itself. Here on fanfic.net I better say PG-13 or R just to be sure….

Sequel/series: None

Inspired by Brenda's "Relax" LOTR RPS SB/EW fic……….if you didn't get that then don't ask *LOL*. 

Her fic is (obviously) not an X-men fic and it's rated NC-17. Since my story is rated much lower please e-mail me if you want the story link. Thanks. 

Thanks to Estelle for the Beta. 

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Don't do this, don't do this. He'll break your heart. Don't do this. You'll regret it, you know you will. Only pain and heartache can ever come from this. He doesn't even feel anything for you. He'll leave you in a heartbeat. He doesn't care about you or your feelings. Please don't…….don't do this. You may not be happy where you are but at least you're safe……. better safe than sorry right?

But if I don't go I'll always wonder, I'll always dream. I need to know how it'll be with him, I can't help it. I need to know. Don't look at me like that; I can't explain it any further. I just need to know.

You love him, admit that you do. Just remember; he cares nothing for you.

I guess….I guess I do love him but that is also why I need to know. Just one night, just one night. I'll return to you but I need to know. I need to know.

Then go to him if you must but remember my words and hear my warning; he will break your heart, you know he will. Don't come looking here for comfort when he does; remember I did warn you.

I know…..I know. I'll tend to the wounds he gives me alone because I do know he cares nothing for me but he wants me just the same.

He wants your body; not your soul. Don't give him what he refuses to take; don't give him your heart and your soul.

I can't take back what is already given.

He'll destroy you; he'll burn your soul and step on your heart. You'll bleed and you'll hurt. Hear my warning and my words.

I hear but my heart won't listen. I have to know. Just give me one night of make belief; just one night.

Then go and get your heart broken, see if I care.

I guess you don't. And don't worry; I will return to you.

I know and……….just don't kid yourself, okay? He will leave and he will leave you behind with your bleeding heart in your hands and you'll hurt for a very long time.

I know I will but I still have to go.

Then go……….I just never thought it was true what they say……..it's only better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all if the loss part doesn't kill you.

Moonshine, a flowery garden, a mild wind, a warm summer night. Two figures meet, one hungers for a love which will never be given to him and the other simply hungers for release. 

One reach out, they embrace. He draws a bit back as the other's fingers run over his arm. 

"I'm not going to hurt you," the other promises.

A sad smile, unnoticed tears in his eyes, an understanding he wish he didn't have. 

"Yes, you will," he states softly, knowing it to be true yet still needing this because isn't one moment of Heaven better than an eternity of darkness? Or will the Hell that follows tomorrow overshadow the joy of tonight? 

"I promise I'll be worth it," is all the other offers; that's all he'll give. 

And in a window up in the mansion a young woman briefly looks down on the two men and her heart aches. He'll hurt her love, she knows he will yet she can't stop it and she isn't sure if she should try. She only hopes she'll be able to pull her lover up from the Hell his leaving in the morning will bring him.

"Some things just aren't worth the agony, Scott," Jean mumbles sadly as she turns away from the window and climbs into the cold and empty bed. She'll hold him tomorrow, hold him as his heart breaks and he feels like he's alone, abandoned and in Hell. She'll hold him close and she'll know he'll pretend for just a moment that she is another; the one he's with right now.

"He's not worth it, dear Scott," she mumbles softly and her eyes clouds with tears for him. "Logan will be gone tomorrow and you'll see; he wasn't worth it."

The End


End file.
